| THIS
IS SO FRICKING FUNNY, THE RESPONSE IS THE
BEST.
You have to read the response.
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST - must read
down to the reply...
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush.
I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl.
I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from
New York. I'm looking to get married to
a guy who makes at least half a
million a year. I know how that sounds,
but keep in mind that a million a year
is middle class in New York City, so I don't
think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more
on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business
man who makes average around 200 - 250.
But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock.
250,000 won't get me to central park west.
I know a woman in my yoga class who was
married to an
investment banker and lives in Tribeca,
and she's not as pretty as I am,
nor is she a great genius. So what is she
doing right? How do I get to her
level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out?
Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms -What are you looking
for in a mate? Be honest guys,
you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting
(I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish
lifestyles on the Upper East
Side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane'
boring types who have nothing to
offer married to incredibly wealthy guys.
I've seen drop dead gorgeous
girls in singles bars in the east village.
What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows
- lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really
make? And where do they hang out?
Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend?
I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself
out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial;
at least I'm being up front about
it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind
of guys if I wasn't able to match
them - in looks, culture, sophistication,
and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial
THE ANSWER
Dear Person,
I read your posting with great interest
and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following
analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time; I qualify
as a guy who fits your bill; that
is I make more than $500K per year. That
said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy
like me, is plain and simple: a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting
through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your
looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub,
your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in
fact, it is very likely that
my income increases but it is an absolute
certainty that you won't be
getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating
asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset,
your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now
and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each
year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you
a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It
doesn't make good business sense to
"buy you" (which is what you're
asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you
think I'm being cruel, I would say the following.
If my money were to go away,
so would you, so when your beauty fades
I need an out. It's as simple as
that. So a deal that makes sense is dating,
not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career
about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate,
classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as
you has been unable to find your sugar daddy.
I find it hard to believe that
if you are as gorgeous as you say you are
that the $500K hasn't found you,
if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way
to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult
conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going
about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want
to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
Sebastian Thachenkary
VP-Marketing Communications Manager
Johnson Financial Group |
