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WELCOME TO THE ARCHIVES... CLICK ON A MONTH TO SEE THE PICS
2005: January
| February | March
| April | May
| June
July | August
| September | October
| November | December
2004: January
| February | March
| April | May
| June
July | August
| September | October
| November | December
2003: August |
September |
October | November | December
12/31/04
- FRIDAY - Crush
- Starting out my New Years Eve in a typical Two Eagles
Fashion. Late! I got up at around 2pm after barely recovering
from the night of partying before and met with Corey, Shash
and LS for lunch. We did that, and then it was time to get
some errands done. LS and I hit the salon for some beautification,
my hair was starting to look like a hippy and my eyebrows
were looking a bit bushy and unified. Ha haha... LS got
a massage, he looked like he was going to pass out after
it. He was wobbling around. Haha... I dropped him off and
then split to the bank at like 5pm to cash my check. WHAT
THE F*CK WAS I THINKING! Naturally being me, it was with
my head up my arse. Fortunately for me, Frederick had hit
me with his end of the rent cash so I had the funds to party,
or I would have been f*cked. Whew! It was like 5:20p at
this point and I needed clothes, so I stopped by a secret
location to see what they had in store for me and copped
some money ass cufflinks. Nice! Now to get a new shirt!
Of course I get to the spot and they are closed. Sh*t! I
need new denim, I fly out to Rivertown which is way the
hell away from downtown, I get there at flippin' 6p, and
of course they close at 6p! Luckily for me the lady in the
store had mercy on me and let me grab some dunagaress or
I would have been triple screwed. At this point it was like
6:30 or so, and I told Lance I would stop by so I did, had
a cocktail and then split back out like a bat out of hell.
I got to my place and ran around like a chicken with my
head cut off getting ready, we were suppose to be meeting
at Judson's at 8p for dinner, and being be the "Two Eagles"
got there at 9:15pm, everyone was calling me to see what
the hell I was doing, but I made it. It was funny as hell.
I was rocking the Twoey "Godfather" glasses, and they had
me sitting at the head of the table, so when I sit down
and I am like... "Now the party can begin!" Haha... the
only thing I needed was a pinky ring at that point. I had
to take it to the next level so I tucked my napkin into
my shirt while I ate. I still am able to suprise myself
with my obnoxious behaviour. One of the times I had gone
up to the bar for a cocktail, there where these ladies up
there, they were like... "Are those your real eyebrows?"
I was like... "You f*ckin' kiddin' me lady?" They were buggin'
about my glasses so I took pictures of them wearing them.
That was funny. I dont know what time it was when I staggered
into Crush but they place was packed. Joshua and Sami copped
a couple bottles of Grey Goose and everyone got ridiculously
hammered. I took my self-indulgence to a new level that
night. I can't really say why, but it would have made the
Rat Pack look like choir boys. Crush closed at 2am, I went
over to Taps hoping that they would still be open, but they
were not, I think I had some hot dogs at the Walking Weiner,
but don't really remember, I went back to the Towers for
an AP but everyone was at Monte's. And the people that were
at the Towers, didn't let me in, because everyone was wizzasted
and we could barely manage to communicate via intercom or
cellphone so I ended up going home. What a f*ckin' night.
12/30/04
- THURSDAY - Crush
- This night was so WHOA! Me and Adam haven't hung out in
I don't know how long, I was like... "Let's do this!" Tonite
was the night to do it too. Thursday nights at Crush called
Bliss, which is a House night, anyway... they were having
this insande drink special... $1 u-call-its from 9-11pm.
ARE YOU F*CKIN' KIDDIN ME? $1 u-call-its? Jyzus. So... Adam
and I rendezvoused (I always have to look that word up at
dictionary.com) downtown when I realized that I had left
my memory card at my office, so we climbed back into my
ride and split out to the office, okay that was sh*tty.
Got back downtown in like 25 minutes and headed straight
for the Crush and straight to the upper bar. We ordered
2 sluts, a skyy and orange for him and double john-n-coke
for me. I had killed my round in like 8 minutes, so we ordered
another one. To make a barely remembered story short, we
were wizzasted by 10:15p, and we had only been there 45
minutes. I basically just hugged the lower bar and didn't
move damn near the whole time we were there. Lance and his
baby mama showed up and apparantly I was hitting on her.
Whoops. Don't remember that one. Anyway everyone was f*cking
sh*tfaced by this time, and we took tons of crazy pics,
adam took a bunch as well. We had a good ole time. hahahhaa....
we stayed until about 1am and then split for Taps. -t.e.
Taps
- We got to Taps completely smashed. haha... I was being
so scandalous. I went boob crazy with the camera. We partied,
Adam bailed on me because he couldn't find me, I didn't
know or care what was really going on. I know that I had
an amazing time though. After Taps I went to the "Walking
Wiener" for some delicous late night weenies. While I was
there I dropped my f*cking camera right on the 3 week old
f*cking lens. I broke a huge chunk out of it, it seems to
still work though. I'm going to put a 2004 destruction tally
on my site, well, I will make it a more of a "F*cked Up
Moments Year in Review", everyone will get a kick out of
that. I will be humiliated, but it is all for your entertainment!
I do this all for you! Hahaha... Oh yeah, I found out that
the mini camera I was using all night was set to some retardedly
low resolution so I have the pics, but they are small as
"F". Good enough for the site, but I don't be
able to make any good size prints. Sh*t. -t.e.
12/29/04
- WEDNESDAY - This
story is crazy. I didn't go out Sunday, Monday or Tuesday.
Everyone was bugging the sh*t out of me to hang, but sometimes
I actually have responsibilities. I had a magazine to get
out and I started late, this was my schedule... Sunday,
7pm to 7am, I was at the office working, went home slept
until 2pm, even though I only was going to sleep until 10am.
Back to the office Monday at 3pm, worked from the time I
was there until 4pm, Tuesday at which point I crashed on
my futon for 45minutes, got back up, got the magazine out
the door around 12 something in the afternoon Wednesday,
worked on some other sh*t until 2:45pm at which point, I
passed out at my desk for 10min while waiting for a cd to
burn, the cd f'ed so I had to burn it again, passed out
again... came to around 4pm, the cd finally worked, I was
really dazed, then i remembered that I had a meeting at
5pm at the Section. Sh*t. Flew home, got ready got to my
meeting, did the damn thing, had a couple cocktails during
the meeting, so I was ready to party. After the meeting
I sat at the bar having more cocktails while waiting to
find something to get into, by this time it is like 7:30p
and I couldn't find anything to get into, call after call,
so I slid over to Tini-Bikini's to see what was really good,
sat around having miller lites, ran into some dood I knew
from some other dood, so I joined him and his buddies. Then
split about 9:15p to head over to Gardella's to meet Jacob
and Caitlin, but stopped by Bar Divani to say hi to Jax.
Ran into Jamie and her friends so I stopped to talk with
them for a minute, her one friend Jim said that the Grand
Rapids Press just did a front page story on him, I was like...
"No way!" It turned out that he was the founder of Cybernet
and partners with Barton Watson, the guy that imbezzeled
everything and then killed himself. Although he had told
me that he had long been out of Cybernet and tried to have
Barton investigated before everything went down. That was
crazy! Anyway, I went over to Gardella's after that and
had some more cocktails, then we slid to Bridge St. Pizza
I was totally looking for the sweet corn pizza, but they
did not have that sh*t, but being the accomodating guys
they are hooked that sh*t up! What! That was bad news for
me though, I had 3 slices and that soaked up all of the
nectar of the gods. My cohorts bailed and I went to Monte's,
my buzz was depleted and I was ready to go home, I stayed
for a while and finally found a ride back to my ride, I
was in bed by 2am. I can barely f'ing beleive that, but
after being awake for abouts 60 hours with only 2 hours
of nap in between, it is understandable. No pics, I was
way to tired.
12/22/04 WEDNESDAY - Mmmm....
2:26am... tonite so sucked. F*ckin what the f*ck. I wasn't
even going to go out tonite, but I did. What the f*ck was
I thinking. Mmmm... well, I was thinking that tonite I would
go see my friend Chris Ho, who was DJing over at the f*cking
BFE, because I stood him up twice and Ian was like... "let's
go see Chris". So me, being the stand up guy with sh*tloads
of work and being the irresponsible f*ck that I am, decided
that I would do that. Pbbbtbtt....... f*ck. Anyway, Ian
comes over to the office and gets me, the intentions were
to have a beer then leave. Yeah right. I know the real deal
everytime. Get me to the club and it's over. F*ck Ryan Adams,
I am trying to hear the Mars Volta. hahhaha... (thinking
outloud right now, because I am pissed the f*ck off and
drizzy... Roulette Dares mutha fizzy...) So anyway, we get
out to the BFE, which is in literally BFE and it seemed
slow, but I never had been there on a Wednesday, or actually
even been there for that matter! Wait... that was a f*cked
up sentence, but f*ck it, you don't read this for my proficiency
in the literary arts... Boom! Okay, back on track... there
was mad cuties in the house, but I wasn't in my grove yet.
Frankly because I hadn't had sh*t to drink yet! So we hung
for a minute, Ian was taking up the photo duties and I was
taking up drinking duties and since we had mini-pitchers
a piece and a shot, and since it was like 11pm and we were
way the f*ck out... I am like "let's make it a night",
so bust up and head to Monte's. Monte's was packed as f*ck
but I am wasn't feelin' it, because sub-conciously I have
a particular SOMETHING on the mind... anyway... we do our
thing, I take like 10 pictures and we leave, but this time
it is already like 12:50am and we are heading over the the
Grizzil. Dumb! We get to the Grill and I get us some Corona's
and I am so non-chalant, because I am thinking about SOMETHING,
and then I see that SOMETHING and I gets my happy on, but...
f*ck. I am stupid. I wasn't acting stupid, but I was dumb
for thinking ANYTHING about SOMETHING. So basically, I got
f*cked up, and thought things I shouldn't have, because
I am a sensitive f*ck, and always end up f*cking myself
over... Whew! Well in reality, I had the right to think
the things I did, but I am a schmuck f*ck for thinking anything
was real. Why even bother. Why. More of a statement than
a question. Boom. So... in f*cking actuality, and secretly
(even to myself), I think that my whole plan was to end
up at the Grill and find out what was really going on and
I did find the f*ck out. What's going on is f*cking nothing!
It's nights like tonite that make me question why the f*ck
I do or say anything real. More than that, it's nights like
tonite that make me ask myself, why I am honest with anyone.
ANY F*CKING ONE. Another night in the f*cking life of someone
that lives in a fantasy f*cking land. Me. I go out about
5 nights a week and party. You would have thought I would
have my game together by now, I don't, I'm not trying to.
That is dumb. I should be trying to, but I am not. It shouldn't
have to be a game with everyone, but it is. Like I said
before... "F*ck them, before they f*ck you."
12/21/04
TUESDAY - Normally I go to Monte's on Tuesday's
for the hot drink specials, and even though I had extra incentive,
tonite was different... J. Veezie was a having a White Party
at the Crush, which is unusual for a Tuesday night, because
nothing ever happens on a Tuesday at Crush, but it is the
Tuesday before CHRISTmas and that was what was happening.
Ian, Chris Ho, Curtis
and Zack, we were all going to hit the spot. Then a a friend
from back a few minutes ago called me and said that she was
in town, so that changed the game up too. What to do, what
to do... I decided that I was going to hang with my friend
and hit the White Party and then go from there... We grabbed
some Bacardi O, because that was the drink of preference and
proceeded to get wizzasted, and wizzasted we did. Hahahaha...
we slid up in the BOB, more like stumbled up into the BOB,
but what else is new. It was funny because Scott, the biggest
security guy in the club was on coat check duty. You f*ckin'
kiddin' me? Anyway, I gave him some grief and then took a
pic and went into the Crush. The crew was already there and
everyone was in white. They tried to give me sh*t because
I only had on white shirt and shoes, but on the contrary,
the only white shoes they had were basketball shoes. Hahhaha...
Get your grown man on bitches and get some slip ons. LS was
behind the wheels of steel and holding it down quite lovely,
Mona Lisa was digging the mix and so was I, although it was
kinda slow and by 11p I was ready to check out the Section,
so we did. Oh yeah, guess what... I dropped my fuckin flash.
AGAIN! F*CK! CAPITOL... F - YOU - C - K! My pictures started
coming out dark, and I didn't realize it was because I broke
my f*cking diffuser off again, the thing that cost me $100
f*cking dollars and 3 weeks worth of time to get fixed before
when I broke it off. F*ck that, super glue. What up now Canon
biznatches. Anyway, I found out that if I hold the flash right,
Icould still get the pics to come out right. Snootchie bootchies
baby. We split to the Section, not before getting our drizzy
on in the Taurus, you know that is manadatory. Did that, did
that and finished the journey to the Section. All good, part
of our crew was already there, Marty put it down lovely with
the Jizzack and Coke, but I knew we would be leaving soon
so I passed part of it to Zack and then got my water on. Saw
J. Deezie, and she told me about some B.S. at the Llyod Banks
concert, real B.S., unbelievable... Anyway, went to the stage
to say my goodbyes and then B-SIDE made me do some f*cked
up shot. It tasted like someone brushed their teeth, spit
it into a glass and then mixed it with gin and made us drink
it. I thought I was going to blow. I was okay though. We left
around 1:00am, and things were good. At about 3:45am I made
a run for the border, got my Taco Smell on, hit up myspace
(cuz' that is the sh*t right now) and finished my diary at
5:07am. Wizzy whut, whut. Snizzle bizzle.
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FRIDAY (1 of 3)
Dec.
17th 2004
Michigan Home Finance Christmas
Party
@ JUDSON'S STEAKHOUSE |
12/17/04 FRIDAY - Friday
night was ridiculous! It seems like I say that about everytime
that I go out, but it is true! Started off the night at
Judson's for the Michigan Home Finance Christmas Party,
which was oh so good. Come on, it's Judson's people! Big
thanks to Melissa and Michelle for the invite. After the
delicious meal and 8 Jack and Cokes, it was time to the
stagger into Crush. Crush had a decent size crowd, B-Side
was on the one's and two's, I wandered around looking for
Lance, I found him and Tara in the circular booth partying
bim pimpin style. I was f*ckin hammered, so I flopped down
next to them and kicked my feet up. I could barely do anything
but sit there and laugh. I had switched to beers by that
time because I didn't want to get "Two Eagled",
haha... Funny thing, when we were at Judson's, I was sitting
across from this couple, and they were asking me about what
I do, and me being the filthy mouthed f*ck that I am, was
sitting there going... "I go out take pictures and
get f*cking wizzasted! Blah blah, f*ck this, f*ck that,
blah blah blah." The chick was laughing her ass off,
she acted like she had never heard the word f*ck before.
I guess she had never heard it as ever other word in a sentence.
Ha ha. It was funny as f*ck. Back to the Crush, when I sitting
in the booth, this chick spilled some of her drink on my
pant leg, Tara was trying to brush it off or some sh*t and
I was like... "Don't worry about it, I've had worse
on my pants." she was laughing her ass off, if only
she knew the awful truth. Ha ha. So later on I find this
hottie who I ask to take her picture and of course she responds
with the standard... "By myself?" and then she
insists that I take her picture with her girlfriend and
some guy, so I do. And then the guys comes up to me and
is like... "You have to get my permission to put that
anywhere don't you?" I am like... "No, you posed
in a public place for that picture, your permission is implied
by you posing for it." So then he goes... "If
I see that anywhere you will be hearing from my lawyer."
I'm like... "Whatever man, I didn't want your picture
anyway." So I deleted that sh*t. F*ck that. I delete
you b*tch. Ha hahahaa... F*ck with me and get ya ass deleted.
Seriously, I have taken pictures of Playboy Playmates, County
Commissioner's, GRPD, TV celebrities, etc, etc... and this
guy doesn't want me to take his picture. Give me a break.
The funny thing is that I was standing there with some dood
that was on the Bachelor and he was even let me take his
picture. Anyway, enough about that turd. So after, 8 Jack
& Cokes, 2 Miller Lites, 1 shot of Rumplemintze and
a Jager Bomb it was time to go to Monte's. Monte's was cool,
busy as usual. I can't remember anything particularly cool
happening over there, except seeing a whole lof of people
that I knew and hadn't seen in a while. Mandy R. was wizzasted.
Ha ha. So at the end of the night I was going to catch a
ride with Caitlin over to the "Walking Wiener"
over on Ionia and Fulton, but she was taking forever talking
with some guys, that apparently told her to stay away from
me because I am some a-hole that takes pictures of girls
boobs or some sh*t. Why is it that people have to talk sh*t
about someone else try and make themselves look better.
I don't make anyone take pictures that they don't want taken.
A lot of times afterwards they wish they hadn't taken them,
but that is a different story! Ha haha... People are so
hypocritical, those are the same type of guys that are trying
to take my friend home for a tit wank, but I am the bad
guy for taking a few pictures in the bar.
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12/15/04 WEDNESDAY
- Today this girl told me that she "...is not impressed
with my tasteless website and that she does not want to
be any part of it..." Ha
ha ha.
12/12/04 - This weekend
was f*cking ridiculous! It was insane! It was unbelievable!
Yes I am still alive, no I didn't shut down my site. I have
been lazy as f*ck. I am going to get my sh*t together and
"Get er done!" -two eagles
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SATURDAY (2 of 3)
Dec.
11th 2004
Nocturnal
f. DJ Baby Anne
@ THE INTERSECTION |
My favorite quote from last
night (12/11/04) was when Rae comes up to me and says...
"French kiss me."
You f*ckin' kiddin' me? But... another good one, was when
Jaime said to me...
"If I let you take a picture of my boobs,
will you replace it with the one you have on myspace?"
She asked so nicely, how could I deny her? Ha ha... NICE!
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THURSDAY (Club 1 of 2)
Dec.
2nd 2004
Ladies Night
@ TAPS 2ND FLOOR |
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